Perhaps it is the rainy Vancouver day or the breezy cool wind that is coming through my window that makes me feel like I am back on Bowen Island again…but I’m feeling reflective.
It’s quite strange that I have been in business for a while and I feel like my identity is so closely intertwined with the business I have no idea where the business ends and I begin. Somedays I certainly feel like I am the business especially when I pull 14-16 hours/day into the business. When you see the first blog posting and the pictures of The Network Hub built together from scratch – piece by piece by my two partners and I, you can see that there is a story and a history of how it all began. A strange emotion comes over me when I look back and see how it all begins…. What would happen to me if I no longer partner at The Network Hub or Atomic Media or Urban Bella? I often refer starting a business as a birthing of a child….(must be the woman in me and no I have never experienced childbirth).
You first conceive the idea – you are not so sure what it is and you are terrified of the future. You nurture it and prepare for it, once you give birth it is a painful process and you aren’t sure if you even think it is a beautiful idea. But you work at it until it matures, you recruit people to help you nurture the idea…..and when it does, you can’t help but feel an anxiety at the thought of being separated from your business. Who am I and what will be of me if I am no longer part of the business?
I am sure most serial entrepreneurs have this anxiety – that’s why we have so many businesses, we can’t bear to see any one taking over. Fortunately, I don’t have to deal with parting with any companies but unfortunately for now, I have to learn not to take any thing said about my “babies” personally.